I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
