I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
