so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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