I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
