ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
