Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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