Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
