But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
