there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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