She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
