I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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