What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
