And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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