we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he wants to bone in the snuggie
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
