My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
