all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
