I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
