I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is there bacon in the couch?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
