My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize