no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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