some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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