I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
