You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
