is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
