I wish life had little blips of pornography
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
