Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
