she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i now understand why vodka
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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