you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He passed out mid-signature
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
