I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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