forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
