He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
