can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
