yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
