I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
