So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
