Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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