i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
