stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
