I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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