can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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