i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
