Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
