I don't think brook has ever known best
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
