I need help removing her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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