Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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