I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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