I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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