i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
