Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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