You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
